Every Minute Matters

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  • Wobbles and how to fix them!

    An interesting title for a blog, me thinks!

    A wobble for me is when I feel off balance mentally and emotionally. For those of you who already know me, you know that this is quite a frequent occurrence! Sometimes a wobble also becomes a big meltdown!

    Wobbles happen even when I am in a “happy place” as they are so often out of my control, well at least initially anyway. A happy place is an actual location, who I am with and how I am feeling in that moment. Unfortunately those demons, triggers and sub-conscious mind antics have other ideas! Someone may say something, I hear a song, I have a flashback or get frustrated with something which evolves into me being angry with myself with a huge dose of self-deprecation thrown in for good measure!

    People see me with my mask on; the Nici who is smiling, being loud (by the way, that is because my hearing is bad and I don’t do anything about it, as hearing aids frustrate the hell out of me), crazy, faffing and hyper-active; this is by no means an exhaustive list. What isn’t seen is that inside I am in tumult and bottle it up, most of the time anyway!

    Ideally I recognise that things are going astray and remove myself from a situation, or at least distract myself somehow if it is not possible to physically remove myself! Of course, running is my best fix, though if things become particularly challenging I am unable to go outside as do not trust myself! Running is my headspace, a great endorphin fix and physically very energising too! Talking is good too, but I try to limit how much I bore and burden people with my woes, as I don’t want to alienate everyone from my life, as I am fully aware that friendships expire sometimes!

    I don’t do anything in small measure, and I am very much an “all or nothing” person which is a very typical personality trait of an addict! I am also either very high or very low, and that is without any self medication nowadays, though of course chocolate and caffeine can affect the balance! So my latest fix is very much the extreme fix, by booking the World Cruise to remove myself, have some space away from everyone (that is tough as I miss my family and friends very much), so that I have a blank canvass to fix myself, without burdening them, or at least find some harmony and a plan to go forward with.

    This plan is very much work in progress and I am trying to find my level, which I had hoped would have happened after two weeks away. I am impatient so I will just breath, be mindful and kind to everyone with whom I have the pleasure to interact with and see where that takes me.

    Wobble fixing is also work in progress, all ideas gratefully received!

    Watch this space for the next instalment!

  • I am what I am!

    Whilst I am riding along on the crest of the wave, with seven sea days to reach our next destination, I have much time to reflect, which is one of the reasons I chose to embark on my epic adventure. I feel I have lost my identity, my confidence and my motivation, amongst other things! As I sit to type this, I am looking out at the ocean which has an infinite expanse and if I may, I liken that to the blank canvass I have with infinite opportunities to order my life in the best way for me, so that I can then serve some worthwhile purpose for me and the many people whom I am so blessed to have in my life.

    The first step is to truthfully consider who I am, my values and my strengths.

    Who am I? Yes, of course, there is a song…these are just some of the lyrics; perhaps #spotify it for the full lyrics to see if it resonates with you!

    “I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses
    I deal my own deck, sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces
    It’s one life and there’s no return and no deposit
    One life so it’s time to open up your closet
    Life’s not worth a damn ’til you can shout out
    I am what I am

    I am, I am useful
    I am, I am true
    I am, I am worthy
    I am as good as you

    I am, I am good
    I am, I am strong
    I am, I am somebody
    I am, I do belong”

    So, initial thoughts:

    The I am that I say so often: “Hi, my name is Nici and I am an alcoholic” but I am so much more and it does not define me! But it is a part of me and somehow I have over 13 years’ sobriety, though every day has it’s challenges and I aim not to be complacent and I am grateful.

    I am a Mum; definitely the best part of me is my daughter and also now my darling grandson. They are my world and they give me the best reason to be here.

    I am a runner; I love my sport and it has saved me so many times, for so many reasons! My running life is possibly the subject of a separate blog, but for now I simply reiterate that it keeps me physically and mentally well and always steers my life back on to the right track when I go astray, which is frequently.

    I am crazy, mentally unstable, impatient, honest, generous, selfish, self-aware, music lover…the list goes on, but on a good day, stand-by as I might actually surprise you all and do something worthwhile!

    For now, I am having a fabulous time on Queen Anne, spending time with friends, being entertained, training in a lovely gym, eating delicious food, exploring the world and finding me!

    I am going to work out how I can add photos to my blogs and make them more exciting, but I will sign off for now and look forward to you joining me again soon!

  • Going Ashore!

    After a few days at sea, I was looking forward to going ashore and exploring new places. I considered whether I am a tourist or a world traveller; that thought having been put in my head by the excursions team. Is it the same thing, if not, how would I define both of them? For me, I think it is just that I am a visitor to another place that I look forward to exploring, meeting the people, enjoying the different cultures, and so much more.

    First stop, Funchal, Madeira which I had been told is beautiful. I arranged to spend the day with my friends, Peter and Ruth and we had a plan of what we would like to see, but had to adapt things as the cable car is not running. The wonders of the hop on, hop off bus gave us the opportunity to get to the top and tick the box to do the famous tobbogan ride. Then we hopped back on the bus and went to Camara de Lobos, where Sir Winston Churchill went in 1950 to paint as he loved the scenery and today there is a statue of him outside a hotel. Another box ticked! the third box to tick was for my darling grandson Louis as already at the age of six, he is obsessed with football, so I went to the Cristiano Rinaldo museum; CR7 to take some photos and hopefully get him a souvenir, but had no intention of going round the museum! I wrapped things up with an ice-cream, watching the world go by, before walking back to the ship! I think that was a tourist day, for sure!

    I really liked Madeira and heard about the lovely walking trips that are very popular. Perhaps of interest to add to the list, though I have work to do on my blank canvas! Afterall, the world is my oyster (or lobster) and there is a lot of life to live.

    The next day was Tenerife, visiting the capital Santa Cruz. A different place and a different plan with lovely friends. Tenerife and I have history and I had reconciled that in my mind, or so I thought! Anyway, it was dealt with and I had a lovely time, spending quality time with my friends, mooching, browsing in the shops and soaking up the atmosphere.

    Reconciling things in our mind I suppose comes into the category of taking care of ourselves, which maybe relies on having good self-awareness and taking notice of the signs. Perhaps the signs are someone actually telling us something and we then have to choose whether to take notice, or perhaps we are too scared to take action! This resonates with me and is one of many reasons why taking care of ourselves can be exhausting emotionally and mentally. Some of you reading this might know what I mean. For me, I know that means taking little steps rather than trying to do too much at once makes sense; putting that into practice is quite different though!

    This relates to the trip I am doing; taking one day at a time or sometimes one hour at a time. Whilst this is a wonderful trip of a lifetime, real life is still here and I must keep myself mentally safe. I think some people see me as having everything sorted, but they don’t see what is going on inside, a bit like the swan!

    Anyway, going ashore has been great fun and the fun continued spectacularly as I was very pleased to be included in my lovely friend Carol’s special birthday celebrations. A drinks party followed by a wonderful meal at a beautifully decorated table and fun in the pub afterwards and somehow we won the trivia quiz! We then deserved to just chill by the pool the following day, not least as there was the Captain’s Cocktail Party to enjoy in the evening! I will go and get ready for that now and let you know all about it in my next blog!

    #letsexploretheworld #lifeissorted #everyminutecounts #takingcareofyourself #cunard #queenanneworldcruise #beingatourist #lifeinyouryears

  • Embarking and getting settled

    On Sunday 11th January 2026 I embarked on my journey of a lifetime and it has been somewhat of a whirlwind to get here, but I am so happy to be on board Queen Anne. I have reconnected with darling friends and we have some wonderful things planned to do together as we have 110 days to explore this wonderful world we live in.

    I bought a few cases, so it took a while to get unpacked, but getting organised in the tiny space is still very much work in progress!! There is certainly no space for anyone else, both literally and metaphorically speaking! So if want the detail, 2 large cases, 1 medium, 1 small, a grip (#jackspeak) and a rucksack; not much compared with my friends’ total of 14!

    The weather was kind to us for the fireworks, as earlier it was quite “clammed in”, but the cloud base lifted and the skies cleared sufficiently enough to enjoy the fireworks and the added bonus was that I met up with my friends, Carol, Steve, John, Helen and Gary.

    My first dining experience was lovely and I have to admit I had been a little apprehensive about it, going to dinner on my own! Part of the evening experience for me is the pre-dinner drinks and I used the reason that I didn’t have time as I was unpacking, but deep down I know I was worried about it too! However, the Bridget Jones pants were on and I got on the dance floor, after going to the evening show in the theatre! A wonderful Irish musician, Tara Howell who was the piper touring with the Riverdance for many years. Of course, she performed Annie’s Song, beautifully done vocally and the pipe. Annie’s Song, if you know, you know; my Mum loved this and towards the end she would smile or cry or sometimes sing along and it was played at her funeral.

    Sleep beckoned and I had a comfortable night, even with the ship’s motion in the Bay of Biscay! I went to the gym and did a treadmill session. Please note, that if you stalk me on Strava, the stats are inaccurate as the ship is moving!! I found a lovely venue for breakfast; yes I know it’s amazing that I had breakfast, but part of enjoying my holiday is to take the opportunity to look after myself!

    Don’t you think we owe it to ourselves to look after ourselves? That supposedly simple question, if we think about it, could mean many different things and furthermore, on a different day we may approach it differently as well!

    Looking after ourselves:

    • Food
    • Weight management – you know I don’t like the word dieting!
    • Exercise – that’s a huge topic all on it’s own!
    • Mental health
    • Work/life balance
    • Time with friends
    • Time with family
    • Social interaction (more generally)
    • Leisure time
    • Holidays

    What else would you add to the list?

    Food! Yes Nici, I hear you say, if you know me, you would have heard me say, particularly when coaching running, discussing training plans etc, “you wouldn’t put “2 stroke” in a ferrari and expect it to purr”. To add to that, you would regularly service the engine, check the oil, brakes and tyres. Yes, you haven’t got time, but I challenge that and suggest you haven’t got time to fix something that is broken!

    Good, nutritious food is so important, particularly in a world that is too full of UPF’s – Ultra processed foods – which lack nutritional value, are full of chemicals and lack “real food’ content. Our bodies then struggle to process the food; ingest it, digest it and dispose of it with detrimental consequences over time. Enough for today, but with the adage that EVERY MINUTE COUNTS, take a minute to think before you make your choices. That is what I am doing here! For example, not taking the bread roll offered with the evening meal as, whilst bread serves some purpose, it is lacking in nutritional benefit and too much starch is not good!

    Anyway, dancing is good and I may have partaken in the silent disco, albeit with my “billy no mates” banner but getting lost in music is my favourite escapism from reality and I don’t need company for that, though it is preferable, obviously!

    Queen Anne, the ship I am cruising on, is lovely and I am enjoying the challenge of finding my way around and dipping in to different things. The gym, obviously and the various places to eat and drink, the evening entertainment in the theatre and other places to enjoy music. Oh yes, and how could I forget the music quiz. Two done so far, one on my own and the second as a team of four. I am competitive, yes really I am, and so I want to win, even if it is only to get a sticker!

    I am going to do some self care which includes not too much screen time so I will wrap up for now.

    Take care and add a self care item to your list today!

    #letsexploretheworld #lifeissorted #everyminutecounts #takingcareofyourself #ultraprocessedfoods

  • Let’s explore the World!

    So, yesterday, Sunday 11 January 2026, I boarded Queen Anne, the newest ship in the Cunard fleet, to commence the world voyage!

    I feel very fortunate that I am able to do this; it’s a chance of a lifetime experience for sure! Have you heard the saying, feel the fear and do it anyway, well that is exactly what led me to be here now! Maybe I couldn’t afford to do it, but over-riding that was the belief that I couldn’t afford not to! The money can sort itself out, but I can’t buy my better mental health and wellbeing, so I need to do the work and this feels like the way to do that! Of course, this is a very extreme way to venture into exploring the better me, but if any of you know me, I am an all or nothing sort of person, probably due to my addictive personality; the impact of that is well documented! More of that later!

    What has this got to do with “Life is Sorted”, you may be asking! I have been considering the bigger picture of what life being sorted means, and how it means different things to all of us, perhaps? These are just a few examples:

    • Finances
    • Work
    • Social life
    • Home
    • Family
    • Friends
    • Wellbeing
    • Diet
    • Exercise
    • Holidays

    When we are busy, this list may seem overwhelming. Life for me has felt overwhelming for many reasons for quite a while and I knew my life was certainly not sorted for many reasons. Far better to regret doing something, than regret not doing it, so action needs to be taken. If not we keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome and we know that doesn’t happen!

    So, the first step has been taken and I am here, ready to explore the world and get to know me and explore who I want to be, how I want to be, where I want to be, what I want to do and who to be with! Little steps to big changes and new opportunities!

    I write this as it is not all about me, but rather that it got me thinking that whilst we are all unique and incredible human beings, there may be some of you reading this who feel overwhelmed, angry and frustrated with how your life feels, and want to get life sorted!

    Little steps are huge and so is breathing! That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it! What I mean is sometimes, even if we just tune in with our breathing, that little step and have a huge impact as sometimes, if we just stop, take a breath and calm now, we are able to take the next step. My example today is that I wanted to do a blog and I was at the point of nearly getting angry with myself that I couldn’t get the WiFi to work. Rather than having a melt down and stopped, considered and asked for help. Sorting things and then able to move on. I will leave you with that thought and now go to the music quiz, as we cruise south in the Bay of Biscay; I am glad I have good sea legs!

    Let’s explore and get life sorted together…till next time!

  • Welcome to Life is Sorted! An interesting title for my bl…

    Welcome to Life is Sorted! An interesting title for my blog, but I was inspired by my counsellor who told me that “Grown Up Nici has Life Sorted”. I trust that this is true as it is a good place to start again with that belief instilled in my mind. I am not sure at the moment how life being sorted for me looks, but I have the experience to see how that looks for other people and how to help them get more out of life by being sorted better!

    Come along with me on this new journey to get life sorted!

  • Hello World!

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